I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just high enough for therapy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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