we're making bets on your personal life
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
