The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
