I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
