your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
