I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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