i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
