You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
vagina is talking i cant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
