my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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