im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
