So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
