Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
