she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
