I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
