Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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