you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
