PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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