How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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