That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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