About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
