its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
