It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
