I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
