these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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