i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
