I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
