thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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