It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
