my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
