Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
