well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
