and you said cock pushups were impossible
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
