i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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