she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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