i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
