it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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