OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bring me that man meat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
