i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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