My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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