After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Someone signed my nipple.
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