You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
