Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
