i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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