Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
