Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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