If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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