I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
