worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
