mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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