I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
