dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
