glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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