I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
