Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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