3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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