I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
